The joy of being me

Five Paragraph

Alone.

Before jumping from the cliff, I assured myself that there was no unfinished business left. My heart raced followed by a heavy breath, my throat cold as ice, vision locked in the beauty and the depth of the blue sea, a constant reminder of the thing that I finally had to accomplish. As terrified as I felt, glory and freedom seemed to come just across my way. I had few seconds for my final farewell, few seconds to suffer the complication and task of survival, few seconds for my last thoughts. I had convinced myself a million times, those million nights where I had drenched completely in deep thoughts and concluded my answer, those million days of anticipation of the day that would end my voyage. I took one step, probably the heaviest step I felt in my entire life. Annoyance was crawling in my vein for the glimpse of fear was the least expected at this moment. The only thing this moment that had to be felt was victory. The pure joy of accomplishing one's desire.

An encounter with a stranger

Every midnight I would wake due to that peculiar noise I repeatedly heard time to time. Too terrified by the darkness and time, I would always avoid it and try to get back to sleep. I never tried to go and look up, since my mother would kill me for wandering at night. It had happened once. At midnight unknowingly though. I had abandoned my bed and left for the terrace. If it hadn't been for my sister, I would have been dead by now. Funny as it sounds, no body took it that way, they were very serious. Before that day, the noise had never been heard. The more I heard it, the fascinating it got. The more tempted I felt, the scared and forbided I was. Besides, being diagnosed by sleep walking I had something else. Something else which everyone knew but me. They kept it very safely and secretly away from me. I never bothered since the 'something else' gave a lot of attention and things I wanted. However, when one is intrigued by something so strongly, nothing else matters. I felt the exact way. So, I finally bundled up all the courage to face the noise regardless the consequences.

Mirage

Love don't mean a thing or does it a little? I have heard plenty of stories, witnessed it as well as felt it. My mother loves me immensely, so does my entire family. The joy of unity and love shared in a family is immeasurable to any joy in this world. However, as fortunate as I am to share the bond of love with friends and family, it never extends its perimeter. It's not that I have never been with a man, I have. A couple would fit the answer. Stories leading to some very interesting plots. Some are very comical and some very dramatic, just like in movies. However, comparing them is odd. In movies, even the worst situation is portrayed so beautifully that I could do anything to be in that very place. In the real life case, scenario as such could get very traumatic and if given a choice running away from it would be the first choice. Also, the thing in real life is the male character isn't as perfect as those of the fiction. They always don't have the perfect hair or the perfect smile or the right attitude or the appeal or the list may vary but doesn't seem to cease. If only, movies or fictions were not invented I would have been spending this day with a man rather than wondering what had gone wrong.

In a Bar

Here is a scenario. The place is empty. Chairs are put up, the floors are freshly cleaned and the smell of smoke still lingering in the air. Gradually, two or four table are occupied and so is the bar. The handsome bar tender, freshly showered with a little weariness in his expression, ignoring his customer at the best and ready to start his day at five in the afternoon. The waitress, tight tank top, an inch of make up and already busy complaining. More people at the scene. Young attractive college boys and girls unaware of the what they are running into. Middle aged women desperately trying to impress and middle aged men preying on everything they can lay their eyes on and rest taking their chances. However, this might be wrongly perceived. Young attractive college boys and girls are socializing, drinking punch. Middle aged women and men, solely are present to release their stress and enjoy a little of their hard work and rest still taking their chances. All of them carry their own unique story, their own world, their own perception yet today they all are here for a common reason. A reason to live up a little.

Being Me
I have done this over and over. I have tried to change rapidly and have tried constantly to bring changes in my life. I have changed job, changed my hairstyle, my color, changed apartment, changed my style, changed school, and changed things within my reach.I have accepted new things in my life and got rid of old one's. I constantly move, holding on seems impossible. Not that I fear or am running away, its just an inner desire to be somewhere, some place of my will. Stability suffocates me. Relationship tangles my soul. Sometimes, I get an inner urge to eradicate myself, my perception, my opinion, my reaction, my emotion, my attitude, my response but they seem beyond reach. An insanity, a voyage to experience the numbness nobody can feel.

On Noise

In the beginning, the writer has created a magnificient scenario that creates a complex relation of noise to that of society and various aspect of human pshcology. The scenario later leads into a more detailed opinion of the writer which emphasizes on social imbalances and people. The opinions has been expressed with real examples of social behavior that gives a true appeal to this essay. At the later part, the writer has written in a suggestive manner trying to clarify that noise as a matter of fact has nothing to do with the disturbance or imbalance it is blamed to causes in one's life. However, not enough evidence made most of his words or statement weaker.
The essay had a very intresting flow, leading the reader from one step to other. It wasn't out of place. A very intresting topic yet very simple. Alot of observance and comparision to the observed, I guess made the essay good. Essays as such tends to give a unique perception on things we do or see everyday but care less to notice. Intresting since it satires human behaviour in many ways. Some stupid human behaviour, such as creating attention, gave a little humor. Over all, the essay complimented the topic very well.

the best five paragraphs are as follows

Walking, by Henry David Thoreau, pg.480

My Face, by Robert Benchley, pg. 509

The Boarding House, by Samuel Johnson, pg.136

Twenty-four Hours in London, by addison & steele, pg.129

Consolation to his Wife, by Plutarch, pg.16

SImple Pleasure

Not a long time ago, yet more than a decade or more than that? .........Time travels!
Times of youthness, the ultimate time of wonderland. I wonder where the wonderland dissappears as you tend to grow. Is society responsible or human basic instinct? The instinct to achieve more..more beyond than happiness, beyond pleasure. Anyway, rather than making it more complex , the only intention here is to express my simple pleasure which matter of fact have vanished with my childhood.
It almost seems impossible today to find joy in absence of success, wealth, attention and many more things. There were times when none of this existed besides pure, true friendship, and love. The joy playing with them, talking for hours and hours about things that seemed so important, night seem to carry its own mystery being the main curiosity, the big world, the dream, the hope, the innocence, food without having to work for it and the first unconditional love seem to be the only pleasures that retains in my memory.