The Beauty of Sorrow

Human race, we are completly mesmerizing. Selfish we are but stupidity tags along. How exactly can beauty or perfection be defined? A general theory doesn't seem to help shape the right perception on it. Expectations that fly higher than the bird, yet the truth so vulnerable. A limitation experienced every second, sorrow then bounds to prevail.
Had I not pushed my luck further, I would have never experienced the joy of being a member in a family. Family, in my opinion though long time ago, binded indivuduals unecessarily and complicated thing. But, there are things now that ought to be thanked such as emotions and love that are truely unconditional, truely human. On the process, I met my grandfather. A handsome, proud, self sufficient, stucked up old man. Obviously old since I wasn't around when he was young and yet not saggy old since he died ahead of his time. Affectionate we were to each other, as I surf through my memories. We did share the act of responding and helping in times when we both needed each other the most. For instance, I took care of him and accompanied him when he needed to see a doctor or he always secretly gave me tons of money, so it worked out perfectly fine as long as it was between us. We shared twenty one years of our lifetime together and part of the moments are hard to bring up in the surface. Intimate as I felt, yet, his death didn't bring a tear in my eye.
Wondering, how possibly insensitive I could be, days passed on. There were final incidents which made no sense at all, moments that were hard to figure out. I kept on wondering why I was the last chosen person to speak with him before his final breath? Wondered why he had demanded to wear the suit I bought for him for his burial? Finally, after a zillion repetition of the same thought a conclusion presided in me unconsciously.
At times, you shouldn't solely live on expectation wishing everything is going to be alright. Sometimes its very important to let go. Most of the time, let beauty and love make a life worth to live in.